I’m half embarrassed and half delighted by how many times people mentioned spicy oatmeal during speeches at our wedding. It was a real theme, and if that is to be analyzed, I guess the fact that I eat it for breakfast half of the year (starting around now, when mornings are cold) says something significant about me. What exactly? I do not know. The song “Bitch don’t kill my vibe” was another theme in speeches. I’m clueless about that one too. 

Siobhan gave one of these speeches. My friendship with her didn’t start over food—we met because our paintings were misappropriated to each other during a college art show—but I soon found out she was a kindred spirit in many ways, including eating. Never living quite in the same place at the same time as adults, we have many years of discussing the details of what to make for dinner on the phone, and of traveling together, focusing as much on where to eat as what art to see. But back in college, food was always a part of our thing. Grits with soy sauce and hot sauce, our own invention, became a staple. I don’t know why we were drawn towards grits especially (in Philadelphia of all places), but it didn’t really make a difference—they were just a medium for salt and heat, a mutual love.

So it’s no surprise that Siobhan was the originator of spicy oatmeal, which in its essence is a savory, comforting, jazzed-up porridge. Tons of different cultures eat similar things for breakfast—in Thailand, for example, I ate rice porridge with ground pork every morning. Her version had sauteed garlic and Braggs and soy in thick oats, with a fried egg for the top. When she made it for me the first time, it immediately struck a chord. Why would anyone eat a frozen waffle for breakfast, or a smoothie? 

I then honed and polished the idea for my own purposes. First, since I’m obsessed with greens, I added some—they contribute a little texture as well. Instead of Braggs, I used fish sauce, my umami-boost of choice. For tang and dimension, I added rice wine vinegar. Finally, to silence my complaining inner-dishwasher, I made it a one-pot breakfast, slipping the egg directly into an indentation in the oats and covering it, like in chilaquiles or shakshuka. The result is half poached/half steamed, with a runny yolk.

There are obviously tons of variations on this concept. You can add previously cooked veggies (peppers, carrots, asparagus, broccoli, green beans, etc), a scallion or cilantro, even leftover meat, chopped up fine. Seasonings can change up endlessly. Instead of sambal oelek, gochujang is delicious, and in that case, a sprinkle of sesame seeds is nice over the egg and chopped kimchi (and a splash of its juice) can replace the vinegar; in total, reminiscent of bi bim bop. (I bet this version would be delicious started with a few thick cut bacon lardons.) Congee-style is great, with grated fresh ginger or minced pickled ginger, and a drizzle of sesame oil. I’ve even tried a more Mediterranean approach, with grated parm in for the soy/fish sauce, a squeeze of lemon for the vinegar, and a spoon of Sicilian red pepper flakes in oil. No matter which way you go, you can have greens for breakfast with having to clean a blender at any point. And you might just get a wedding speech out of it.

Spicy Oatmeal for One

Turn on your kettle. In a small pot, toast 1/2 cup of oats over medium heat. Add about a cup of boiling water and a pinch of salt. Cook the oats over low heat until almost tender. (Steel cut oats will take longer to get to this stage, but are worth it if you have the time.) Season the oats aggressively with soy, rice vinegar, and fish sauce.  Add a large handful of spinach (or another quick cooking leafy green, like chard, arugula, or amaranth) and cover the pot. When the greens are wilted enough, stir them through. Add another splash of water, so the oats are quite loose, and sambal oelek to taste (quite a bit). Check seasonings, adding more salt or vinegar if needed. Make a little indentation in the oats, then gently crack in an egg and cover again, cooking another 5 to 7 minutes, until the white is set and the yolk runny. Dig in.